Let’s be honest. Pelvic floor pain isn’t exactly a hot topic at Saturday brunch in Haarlem, or is it? But for the millennial women I see at The Movement Recipe, these unspoken aches shape everything: from bike rides by the canals to the energy they bring to relationships… and even whether they dare to hope about future family plans.
If you’ve ever clammed up about vaginal pain, winced through intimacy, or whispered your fertility fears to Google at 2am, this one’s for you. Because pain here isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, isolating, and made worse by the tidal wave of myths that everyone seems to believe.
It’s time for some myth-busting, Haarlem style: compassion, straight talk, and a plan to actually move forward.
Myth #1: “Pain With Sex Is Just How My Body Works (And I’ll Outgrow It)”
Let’s set the record straight: pain with intimacy is common, but it’s absolutely not “normal.” Yet so many women in their 20s and 30s (and far beyond) have been told to just “relax,” “use more lube,” or “wait it out.”
Here’s the truth:
Pain is your body’s way of waving a red flag. Whether it’s sharp, burning, tightness, or soreness, your pelvic floor muscles (yes, the ones you might have never even heard about in health class) could be stuck in overdrive.
Myth-busting means giving yourself permission to investigate, not just “cope.” The sooner you start, the sooner you get relief, and take your body (and pleasure) seriously.
Myth #2: “If I Can Bike, I Can’t Have a Pelvic Floor Problem”
This one’s so Haarlem. Our city is made for cycling. Naturally, you’d assume hours on the saddle mean everything “down there” is strong and healthy.
Wrong.
Just because you can power up the bridges or zip to your tech job doesn’t mean your pelvic floor is working well. Often, cyclists with the most endurance still have hidden tightness or weakness they’ve never noticed…until sex, stress, or bathroom issues pop up.
One of my patients—let’s call her “Eva”—was cycling daily, running weekend 10Ks, and crushing it at work. But the minute she tried to get close to her partner, pain and frustration hit hard. It wasn’t her fitness. It was her muscle system, and the way stress lived in her body.
Eva’s turning point: learning that athletic doesn’t mean invincible, and vulnerability takes as much strength as any workout.
Myth #3: “If I Have Vaginal Pain, There’s Something Wrong With Me—Or the Relationship”
This might be the most damaging myth of all. When pain shadows intimacy, it’s so easy to spiral: “Is it me? Is it us?” But the science is clear that vaginal or pelvic floor pain is a health issue, not a personal failure or a mark against your relationship.
Sometimes, it’s a case of overactive muscles after years of clenching from stress or sports. Sometimes, it’s a nervous system tuned to “high alert” by old injuries, trauma, or even too many Kegel cues in fitness classes.
The real truth: Healing is possible. And you don’t have to choose between your wellbeing and your connection. Often, real solutions start with finally talking about it—with a professional who hears you and sees all of you.
Myth #4: “If I Want to Get Pregnant, I Just Have to Ignore the Pain”
Fertility fears + pelvic pain = overwhelm. Too many Haarlem millennials come to me convinced they have to tolerate pain to “earn” a future healthy pregnancy.
Here’s the radical approach:
Your body deserves care before conception, not just during. A healthy, relaxed pelvic floor helps with comfort, mobility, and (yes!) smoother conception and pregnancy. Ignoring pain can actually create more physical and emotional barriers down the line.
The good news? Pelvic floor-focused care is collaborative for you, your partner, and your future.
Myth #5: “My Only Option Is Kegels (Or Surgery)”
Kegels get all the headlines, but they’re not a cure-all. For most, they add to the problem. For others, surgery can feel like the only way out.
Here’s what we know at The Movement Recipe:
- Often times, the pelvic floor is too tight, not too weak
- Relaxation and breathwork (not just “squeezing”) can retrain your system
- Nervous system-based movement helps rewire how your whole core, hips, and breath connect for comfort and power
Curious to try a gentle, powerful first step? Watch my favorite pelvic floor relaxation and breathing video here.
Ready for a New Narrative? Real Answers, Real Healing in Haarlem
You deserve more than “just deal with it.” At The Movement Recipe, I partner with leading pelvic floor physios and use a brain-body approach—think breathwork, DNS, and personalized movement—to help you understand, heal, and move beyond pelvic floor pain.
Book your appointment and let’s create your healing recipe, one empowering step at a time. (Haarlem, I can’t wait to help you move forward!)
